Subtle Pride

A.W. Tozer once wrote, "It is said that a horse after it has been led out of a burning building will sometimes by a strange obstinacy break loose from its rescuer and dash back into the building again to perish in the flame."  Old sin, the kind that is habitual, turns us all into terror stricken horses blind to the freedom given to them by strong and gentle hands holding the lead rope firmly amidst our bucking and neighing wildly.   A kind Master patting us reassuringly, whispering the truth.  

The kind of sin that sends me running back headlong into the flames is characterized mostly by their subtle pride.  Satan loves subtlety.  The "I can handle it" kind of subtle pride.  The subtlety that sounds an awful lot like my dear Heavenly Father's voice but is not, because the "on my own" is always there at the end of the subtlety.  In essence saying "I don't need You, God for this"  but often disguised as "I don't want to bother You, Lord, about this trivial thing."

How often have I run back into the burning barn rather than accept the freedom given to me?  Choking on smoke instead of breathing the fresh crisp air of a new dawn?  Oh Heavenly Father forgive me for my sin.  Help me hear Your Voice clearly and replace the "on my own" with "I can handle it only with You."  Thank You that You love us so much to run into the flaming barn to lead us to safety even after we have wrenched free of You and dashed back in.

New Year's Resolutions

I, in general, don't do New Year's resolutions.  They seem silly.  If I am going to do something why wait till the new year?  Why not start immediately?  That being said God does use the turning of a year to focus my thoughts and encourage introspection which almost always produces change or a desire for change which is just as important.

As I thought over the past year, and what a year it has been, I noticed a common denominator or, more than likely, God pointed it out to me.  God's grace and will in my life.  And my response to it. 

God has given me a new assignment to begin 2015 with.  I have a feeling I will be camped out here for awhile because, although I know the truth and even memorized verses about it since childhood, it is a truth that I struggle to live each and every day.  So here it is, I fight against God's desire to give me something for free.  I struggle with accepting grace, which by definition isn't earned.  This is such an issue with me at times that I don't accept His forgiveness because I haven't earned it.  

Then I think…HELLO!!!!  I can't earn it! Nothing I do or think or say can ever measure up to Him.  Then my brain goes through a whole smattering of verses on the subject.  (I'm pretty sure that is the Holy Spirit.)  And I remember that Christ died for me while I was still a sinner, that my sin put Him on the cross – God's perfect Son.   Who am I not to accept the Creator of the Universe's gift?  That is a bajillion times worse than giving a Christmas present back because you didn't like it which I have never done but has been done to me (and it made me feel like crap).  Is that how God feels when I bristle against His far more perfect gifts?

So here I am knowing the truth but still struggling to live it.  Accepting God's love and grace and forgiveness because He gives it freely. Free.  No Strings.  No Check.  Nada.  Sheila Walsh puts it this way, "Simply put, I think there is just something in us human beings that wants to feel that we have contributed in some way to whatever we receive.  When it comes to the grace of God, however, we contribute nothing.  Absolutely nothing – and that is hard for us to swallow.  We know we don't bring as much to the table as God does, but we want to feel as if we've done our bit for the team! Again, when it comes to the grace of God, we contribute absolutely nothing."

An image of a baseball game just popped into my head.  God is playing ALL the positions and I am on the bench cheering.  Then at the end when He wins (because He always wins) He hands me the trophy and says, "Congratulations!"  That is what it is like…and I struggle taking the trophy without having been at bat.  

Everyone has sinned and fallen short of God's glorious standard, and all need to be made right with God by His grace, which is a free gift.  [We] need to be made free from sin through Jesus Christ.  God sent Him to die in our place to take away our sins.  We receive forgiveness through faith in the blood of Jesus' death.  Romans 3:23-25