Ung Tatay Co

A window opened.  

A broad smile.  

A generous laugh.  

A thankful heart.  

A kind spirit.  

I walked through the richly appointed room with the dust clothes of stroke briefly lifted and ran my hand along the well oiled wood and sat near a warm fire in an upholstered chair.

My Filipino Dad.

Simplicity

Living the simple life is hard.  Working at things as God tells us too seems simplicity itself on paper, that is in the Bible.  Colossians 3:23 says, "Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people."  Simplicity itself until you try to actually do it consistently each and every day.  

It is hard to imagine I am washing my third sink full of dishes for Jesus or sweeping up dog hair for Him or any of the other mundane tasks I do on a daily and/or weekly basis.  But imagination aside that is what I am doing because God's Word says that is what I am doing.  When I work I am doing it for Him and I need to have the attitude that corresponds.  

I would never grudgingly fold the God of the Universes clean skivvies or mutter under my breath as I wiped up His toothpaste laden drips off of the counter in the bathroom every morning.  I would be glad that I was allowed such an intimate look into His life.  I would rejoice at scrubbing His toilets and making His bed, picking up His errant sock or closing the left-opened cabinet.

Oh LORD help me do these things as for You because that is what Your Word says.  Help me rejoice in serving my family each and every day because it is as if I am doing those things for You.  Take the ugliness from my heart and turn it to joy and life and goodness. Amen.

Inside of the Mask

Outside

During the Personal Wholeness weekend one of our assignments was to make a mask.  Each participant was given a blank white mask and we were to cover both sides with words that describe us. 

  The first side was to represent what others see in us.  The second was to represent what we know about ourselves but others don't see because we keep it hidden purposely or unintentionally.  There is a whole other section that is what God knows about us but that we are oblivious too.  I am fairly certain that other section is God's grace at work!  If I had to see all of me all at once I may just explode.

This was by far my favorite assignment I think because I love to color, cut, and glue with the rest of the preschoolers!  I am a very visual person.  I think in picture and in dance.  And I like treasure hunts, which this assignment definitely was - you try to find yourself in an Architectural Digest.

My favorite find was a quote by a designer talking about a kitchen, I think.  "Sometimes to clarify a vision

 that has gotten muddled, you have to take a part away."

Inside

That quote went on the inside.  Mostly because I feel like people think I have it all together but really I don't.  God simultaneously holds me together and chips away at the muddled parts that need to be removed so that His Glory is more pure in me.

I also realized that when all is said and done I am far less complicated on the inside.  I strive to follow the "Singular Voice" who is making me "whole".  That plant on the side there, that is a weed.  It is what God is slowly pulling up by the roots.  

You see, I believe in Jesus and so He dwells in me.  All of His fullness in me.  It is mind boggling if my puny human mind could even comprehend what that truly means.  This is how I see it.  God's whole vision for me is here - inside - because of His Son's presence in my life.  He just has to take away the extra parts that don't fit like a sculptor freeing a master work from the stone.

Shalvah

I love words.  Not quite as much as I love Jesus or my husband or my children but I love words.  This is a new one for me.  

Shalvah.  

It is Hebrew and is roughly translated as security in most places in the Bible.  But get this, the root meaning is leisure. So how can it be translated as security and how does leisure fit in.  I am so glad you asked!

Eugene Peterson puts it this way, "The root meaning is leisure - the relaxed stance of one who knows that everything is all right because God is over us, with us and for us in Jesus Christ."  We are secure in God so we can be at leisure (not on a sailboat somewhere in the Caribbean with an umbrella drink in hand) because God's leisure isn't dependent on physical or earthly things.  This is the picture that comes to mind.  A warrior riding horseback entering the castle gates while the enemy ravages outside the walls.  He is weary, the battle is not finished but as he sits in the throne room of his king he can relax.  The king will protect him.  The walls are thick.  Nothing can harm him here in the presence of the king.  That I think is what God's shalvah is, but all the time everywhere we go.  His throne is in our hearts.  He is over us, with us and for us in Jesus Christ every moment of every day.  We can rest there, at His throne, in His arms.  He is always with us in the heat of the battle, in the monotony of the day to give us His rest, His leisure.

I need to change my definition of leisure because mine pales in comparison to Biblical shalvah.  I need to put God in the middle of my leisure, my rest.  One of the things God has been working on in me is breaking the lie of Satan that says I have to make my own rest, my own leisure from earthly things that are only a shadow of what God has for me.

"It is the leisure of the person who knows that every moment of our existence is at the disposal of God, lived under the mercy of God."

Eugene Peterson

A Long Obedience

I recently went to the gym with my Dad.  We typically go twice a week together although lately it has been once a week if we are lucky.  I usually walk the treadmill while Dad does the stationary bikes.  It is the perfect time for me to order my thoughts or read a book or talk to God.  Today I picked up a book from my hubbies office called A Long Obedience in the Same Direction by Eugene Peterson.  After I read the first chapter I wanted to go back and read it again.  Partially so that I could not miss one thing but also because it resonated so loudly in me.  

Peterson talks at length about how society/culture has systematically destroyed our staying power.  Western culture in particular is about fast and what is coming next or the next great thing which makes being a Christian in today's society difficult.  Because being a Christian isn't about the next big thing.  It isn't about 30 second commercials, losing 3 inches in 7 days or 5 easy steps to something.  It is about the One Big Thing that doesn't change; God who is constant and true.  Peterson borrowed his title from Nietzsche, of all people.  Nietzsche said, "The essential thing in heaven and earth is… that there should be a long obedience in the same direction; there thereby results, and has always resulted in the long run, something which has made life worth living."

So many Scriptures talk about the "long run" of being a disciple of Christ.  I am glad I have chosen that route even on tough days when I wish there were 5 easy steps toward my goal.  Because God is the only thing that makes life worth living;  He alone makes taking the next step bearable.  He alone is why we have this life in the first place.

"They are not monuments, but footprints.  A monument only says, "At least I got this far," while a footprint says, "This is where I was when I moved again.'"

William Faulkner

A Long Way

These past few weeks have been a wonderful time of renewal for me.  God has dug and tilled and planted in my soul.  The seedlings are beautiful and strong.  He is my wholeness.

After the Personal Wholeness Weekend with church leaders I realized two things.  

1.  I have come a long way.

2.  I have yet a long way to go.

But I am at peace.  He is my wholeness.  And I have fewer missing pieces than I thought.  God's encouragement in that area is freeing.  I think sometimes as Christians we get caught up in the fixing and forget about what has been fixed.  There is a subculture that values Christians in the midst of heavy emotional and spiritual turmoil.  It seems to say if you are not in that kind of battle dealing with some deep issue you are not doing it right.  

God has reminded me over the past few weeks that I am doing it right, as much as humanly possible, and I am at peace.  God showed me some wounds that are slowly healing and reminded me of how far I have come, how much of His glory is in me!  He astounds me all the time!  I know I have a long way to go yet and whether it be fraught with bloody battle or hard won inches on the front I know that God is my wholeness.  

But to deviate from truth for the sake of some prospect of hope of our own can never be wise, however slight that deviation may be.  It is not our judgement of the situation which can show us what is wise, but only the truth of the Word of God.  Here alone lies the promise of God's faithfulness and help.  It will always be true that the wisest course for the disciple is always to abide solely by the Word of God in all simplicity.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer